Speed Demons

Yesterday was relatively uneventful. I slept in, went to get my hair done (a luxury greatly needed! No one likes to dislocate their shoulders while trying to blow-dry their hair straight) and then directly to school, which I was an hour late to. When I realized the time, I almost decided not to go because I hate hate hate walking into a classroom late and having everyone looking at me, but I quit my job in January to go to school so I walked into class an hour late. But moving on! This story is not about my tardiness.

Class let out early and instead of racing to the BART station to catch the earlier train rather than waiting 20 minutes for another train, I hung back to talk to my professor. In retrospect I wished I had taken the earlier train. I guess working in retail for five years has made me hate people, well, not hate, just easily irritated by stupids. These two girls walked to the end of the platform near me giggling and chawing their gum. They were not chewing. They were chawing like baseball players and their gum/tobacco or cows/camels chewing their cuds. They situated themselves on the bench a little aways from me and I was hoping beyond hope that they would not board the same car. Unfortunately, the fates were against me and they sat across from me on the train. I really wanted to get up and move, but for some reason I didn’t. Laziness perhaps.

One of the girls was wearing tight fitting jeans and the generic black pea coat. The other girl was wearing a cute black skirt with these nasty pointy-toed Indian style t-straps with the buckle placed in front of the ankle. They were both chomping away with their mouths open and blowing small bubbles. Chomps and smacks and pops with every word and shrill giggle uttered made me want to puke and I suddenly had a greater appreciation for my mother not allowing me to chew gum for most of my childhood.

On the drive home from the station, I saw something that made me laugh my ass off. It was nighttime and I was driving down Broadway and came to a red light. I was looking to see if any cars were coming down the hill. The light flicked to yellow and an older model of Nissan came barreling down the hill as well as a man in an electric wheel chair. I thought for sure the dude in the chair would stop because the light was yellow, but he was just cruising! Think Steven Hawking speeding down a busy street. The small, slightly deformed man being held upright by a metal bar attached to his helmet. I guess the momentum coming down the hill was exhilarating and he ran the stale yellow light and consequently the red. Now where I live there is no pause in the lights. The instant a light turns red one direction at the intersection, the cross street’s light turns green. So this dude was just flying down the hill trying to beat the yellow light and missed it by far and passed in front of me when my light was green. For a second none of the cars next to me moved, I think we were too baffled or laughing until we cried to pay attention to the lights.

It’s amazing what you can see in life if you just watch.